Re: OB/GYN Recommendations
Date: October 22, 2009 05:35AM
It is too bad Dr. Bezalel has left Long Island. I saw her once at NUMC. Very nice Dr. I had a fibroid. I was single and young and didn't think this thing was too serious, never really thought about infertility issues.
In my mid 30's, however, I made an appt with Dr. Mary Kriner, who was the ob/gyn at the family practice I used,in Hicksville.
And every couple of days since then, I still berate myself.
I presented as such: huge fibroid, mid 30's, single and on an antidepressant.
I could no longer fit in my pants. I was normally about 110 lbs, so this wasn't a question of weight gain and vanity.I wanted the fibroid out. It was pressing on my bladder and I looked 4-5 months pregnant. I really wanted it out, and it had taken me months to work up the nerve to make the appt.
She recommended I not touch it, and let menopause take care of it. I was 35 and probably had some window of fertility left.
To this day, I think she looked across her desk at me and thought--hmm...not married, on antidepressants; probably not likely to get married and extremely unlikely to get pregnant. I can almost guarantee she would not have said this to a married woman who was not on med's. I believe she would have wanted to preserve the fertility of that woman. I do not know why my well being and fertility weren't considered important enough.
She continued to tell me not to do anything through our next appt.
To my everlasting regret, I didn't pursue it. I trusted her...she was a Dr.
Fast forward a few years, and I'm off the meds, meet a great guy...and get pregnant 4 months later. We were scared but thrilled. It was our last chance.
I was shocked that I had gotten pregnant in the first place. The midwife that first examined me was shocked--absolutely shocked when she realized the size of this fibroid. I could see in her face this pregnancy was doomed. She tried to put on a bright face, but I could see. I was referred to a high risk ob/gyn practice.
They all asked...why did you not get this taken care of? We saw the baby during the first sonogram and it was the most amazing moment of my life. She looked like a tiny appleseed.
The 2nd sonogram showed no growth.We were told to come back in a few days for another sonogram. We knew it was grim news, but tried to hang in there and see if a miracle was in the making. My uterus was already the size of a 5 month pregnancy.
I officially miscarried after my first shopping trip to a Maternity clothing store. I was already huge in my 9th week. I bled and sobbed all night.
I blamed myself...why on earth did I not get a 2nd opinion and why did I take Dr. Kriner's words that the best thing to do was nothing. I will never hand over that control or power to a Dr. again. Always, always get that 2nd opinion. In the end, I may have ended up infertile, even with surgery. But I'll never know.
After Dr.Kriner's recommendation to do nothing, the fibroid really took off and grew. At this point, I'm facing hysterectomy. I've been to 3 fertility doctors, more sonograms, MRI's.... and about a year ago, just gave up. There's nothing I can do to fix this uterus, short of embolizing the fibroid or getting the uteruse removed.If I had insisted on surgery a few years back, it may even have been possible to do the procedure laparoscopically. Again, I'll never know.
There are times that I cannot forgive myself. I feel like I killed our baby with my passivity. She was only with me for 2 months; we named her Alexandra after we got the genetic testing back after the d&c and the Dr. said it was a girl.
The test showed no genetic abnormalities. My now extremely distorted uterus just can't carry a child.
So no, I would not recommend Dr.Mary Kriner. And ladies, please...as I said, always get a 2nd opinion. Not everyone has YOUR best interests at heart. I've learned the hard way that it was my responsibility to put my best interests ahead of everyone elses, and I failed myself and my unborn child. When I see little girls that would have been the age she would have been today--1 and a half--
I have to look away. I think it will always hurt.